Ashley Mathews There's Nothing Without Love
by FallenAngel0125
Summary: Last three chapters have now been reformated
1. Default Chapter

All characters belong to S.E. Hinton except for Mr. White and Ashley Mathews THE COOLEST GIRL IN THE WORLD! Ahem, sorry. And no I am not making money off of this or any of my stories/poems. This story is told as if the alternate ending of Princess without Grace happened, not the original ending (obviously because Ash is in this story) This story is told as if everything in the book happened except Johnny and Dally dying and Johnny isn't paralyzed either. 

HELP ME! FOR THE LOVE OF CAKE HELP ME! I'm stuck in English class my favorite class of all, but I have a substitute today named Mr. White. He keeps on telling us his life story, and telling us if we don't pay attention to his rambling we'll never make it through college. AGH!

I open my notebook, tare out a piece of paper and start drawing on it. I drew a centaur; you know one of those half people-half horse things? After I drew a sketch of one I labeled it "Ponyboy", folded it up, and handed it to Ponyboy Curtis, who was siting next to me.

Pony opened the piece of paper up and started snickering, took out a piece of paper of his own and started drawing.

I starred at the clock for about a minute when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Pony handed me a piece of paper. Drawn on it was a fire with little dots, or ashes I should say, flying out of the fire. He drew an arrow to one of the ashes and labeled it "Ash." Man we must be bored.

That's when the bell rang. Both Pony and me leaped out of our seats and rushed out the door.

"That guys has to get a life! I never thought that class would end it was so boring!" Pony said in a relieved way.

"What are you talking about? I quite enjoyed being lectured on how we won't be able to get through college without knowing every aspect of his family's history," I said sarcastically.

"Well, at least if he's here tomorrow we'll have a test to take instead of listening to him," Pony commented, "Speaking of which, do you want to come over to my house and study for it?"

"Sure, that'd be great," I said. Inside my heart skipped a beat, I've had a crush on Pony for a while now.

Pony and I became friends this year after I joined the track team. I almost did a horrible thing to myself a few months ago, commit suicide. Pony had seen cut marks up and down my arms and was alarmed. After my first race, which I won, Pony told my brother Two-bit about the cuts. Two-bit hurried home to confront me about the cuts and got there just in time before I slit my wrists. It would've been a terrible mistake for me to make, and luckily both Two-bit and Ponboy were there to stop me and help me.

"Hey loser!" I greeted my brother who cocked his eyebrow at me.

"Nice to see you too Ash," Two-bit said, who was our ride home.

"Pony invited me to his house to study," I said.

"Splendid! That's one less trip for me to make so I can save some precious gas!" Two-bit exclaimed.

"Um, Two-bit, that's like less than a block, it won't be that much gas," Pony said.

"Hey gas is gas! The more I save, the less money I spend," Two-bit said a-matter-of-factly.

"Right, as if you work an honest job to earn that money you shoplifter!" I said amused.

"MWAHAHAHA! YES I AM A SHOPLIFTER AND PROUD OF IT!" Two-bit announced so loudly as they reached Two-bit's car that several people turned around to stare at him. I swear, I've got the strangest brother in the world, but I'm proud of it, I wouldn't trade him in for the world.

"Want some cake?" Pony asked me as he, Two-bit, and I walked into his house.

"No thanks, I'm on a diet," I replied.

"Why?" Pony asked me, looking me over.

"It's a girl thing," I replied.

"Girls are weird," He just muttered as he and Two-bit dug into a chocolate cake.

"I've known that for a long time," Two-bit replied.

"Tell me, why do you think that? Is it because our sexuality's are so diverse that you don't even try to understand us girls and think we're only good for one thing, or are you uncomfortable of your own sexuality's and envy us for at least trying to get comfortable with ourselves, and of course we girls are intellectually superior to you boys?" I asked, I've wanted to ask a boy this for quite some time, actually it was more of a statement than a question.

Pony and Two-bit starred at me for a minute when Two-bit said, "Okay, time for you to drop out of school, you're becoming too much of a smart ass."

"Hey, I learned from the best," I said and winked at him.

After Pony had his cake, he and I sat down on the couch and started reviewing Romeo and Juliet, which is what the English test was going to be on. We also had to write an essay about love.

"Do you write your essay yet?" I asked Pony.

"Yeah I did, did you?" He asked.

"Yeah,"

"What was it about?" He asked me.

"Well, I wrote how I believe that everyone has a soul mate who is their destiny. In love, I don't believe there are any mistakes, and when you find the right person you should be with that person forever." I replied.

"Mine was a bit different," He told me.

"How so?" I asked, interested.

"I wrote about how love causes hurt and heartache, and perhaps people are better off without it.

"Ponyboy! That's horrible!" I exclaimed.

"Well, what did you expect me to think? After what happened to Sylvia and Dally and Soda and Sandy, now I'm waiting for Evie to break Steve's heart!" Pony said, defending his point.

"Not all relationships are like that, perhaps they weren't meant to be," I said, referring back to my point of soul mates.

"Soda was crazy about Sandy, he loved her, and what did she do? Move to Florida breaking all connections between them." Pony said.

"Well, I'll prove you wrong," I said, "Love doesn't always cause heartache."

"How?" He asked, doubtfully.

"I'll think of something. I'll think about it tomorrow, tomorrow's always another day!" I declared, using a southern accent when I quoted Scarlet O'Hara from Gone with the Wind.

"You like Gone with the Wind?" Pony asked me, raising his eyebrows and voice.

"Yeah, I've seen the movie three times and read the book," I said proudly. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason," He said quickly, looking back down at his copy of Romeo and Juliet.

Soon we were joined in the Curtis house by Steve and Johnny and later by Soda and Darry. Johnny came and sat down with Pony and me on the couch. I've always liked Johnny; he's a sweet kid.

"Hi Johnny, how are you?" I asked sweetly.

"Fine, thanks," he said looking at his feet. He's always a bit shy when I'm around, but I guess if I had been what he'd been through I'd probably act the same.

Soon Two-bit and I left the house for home. In the car I starred out the window wondering how in the world I was going to prove Pony wrong about love. Two-bit was no good example because each week he has a different girlfriend, my parents are no good either since my dad ran out on my family, Angela recently broke up with her boyfriend Bryon, again, so she was no good either. Pony seemed to have happily married parents from what he's told me about them, but I was unsure if I should talk to him about them since he seemed to still be sensitive about that subject because they died in a car crash, so I couldn't blame him…

"Ash," Two-bit interrupted my train of thought.

"WHAT?!" I asked and jumped, for he startled me.

"What's with you tonight? You've been quiet." He said.

"Oh, just doing some deep thinking," I said.

Two-bit looked at me suspiciously, "Let me see your arms."

I rolled up the sleeves of my shirt. He took a good look at both arms and when he was satisfied that there were no new cuts on the he said, "What are you deep thinking about?"

"Love," I said.

"Is there something you'd like to tell me?" He asked startled.

"No! It's nothing like that! You see for English class we have to write an essay about love, and basically Pony told me his was about how he thinks that love only causes heartache, and I told him I'd prove him wrong. Now I'm just trying to figure out how in the world I'm going to do it." I said.

"Oh, well good luck," Two-bit laughed.

"Thanks, I'll be needing it!" I said, laughing too.

Later that night I was on the phone with Angela telling her about the whole love conversation with Pony when Two-bit walked into my room, handed me a letter, and walked out.

"Maybe you should tell him how much you love him!" Angela suggested.

"That won't work! If he doesn't believe in love than he won't believe that I love him! Oh I got a letter from Sandy!" I said.

"Really?" Angela asked. Sandy had been friends with both me and Angela before she had moved away.

I opened the letter and found a bus ticket to Florida!

"Sandy invited me to Florida!" I exclaimed.

"Really?" Angela echoed herself.

"Oh my, Angela, I know a way to prove Ponyboy wrong!" I said.


	2. In The Name of Love

Characters belong to S.E. Hinton except Ash. I promise, this in no way is copied off of Sorrow, which I had just read, it was pure coincidence with the bus ride and all. 

I woke up when I felt the bus come to a halt. I had been taking a nap most of the bus ride, but now I was wide awake, excited about seeing Sandy, and excited about my mission to prove Ponyboy wrong. I looked out the window and gawked at Florida's beauty, far more beautiful than home, it almost made me sick. I grabbed my bag and made my way off the bus and looked around the station for Sandy. Then I saw her, her long blonde pulled back into a ponytail, her crystal blue eyes shinning in the sunlight. She smiled a huge smile, ran up to me, and hugged me. As usual she looked gorgeous.

"Ash, how have you been?" She asked as we broke our tight, five- minute embrace.

"I've been good now," I said.

"Now? What do you mean now?" She asked curiously.

"Oh we've got quite a bit of catching up to do, I'll tell you later," I said.

Sandy led me to her car, I shoved my bag into the trunk of the car, and we got in it and drove off.

"Florida's more beautiful than I imagined," I exclaimed looking out the window.

"Yes, it is nice," Sandy agreed, but something in her tone made me wonder if she was happy here.

I got settled into the guestroom of Sandy's grandmother's house, then we went into her room, sat on her bed and started talking.

"So, what's been going on at home?" She asked. Home she said home, so she didn't feel at home in Florida! That's a good sign, for me at least.

I told Sandy everything! I told her about Ponyboy and Johnny running away and becoming heroes, I told her Johnny almost died, I told her about the rumble, I tole her Angela broke up with Bryon, I told her I joined the track team, I told her I cut my arms and almost committed suicide but Pony and Two-bit saved me, and I repaired my relationship with my brother. I told her about everyone and everything except for my love mission and Sodapop Curtis.

"Wow, I'm sorry I missed out on all of that!" Sandy said, "Oh Ash, thank God you didn't kill yourself! I would've cried so hard if you did and I wasn't there!"

"Well, I didn't, so don't you worry," I said and smiled.

"So is that about it then?" She asked.

"Yep," I replied.

"Nothing else?" She asked.

"Not a thing?"

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"If you want to know about Soda then just ask me," I said coolly.

Sandy opened her mouth and closed it, contemplating what to say next.

"How is he?" She asked.

"Do you want the truth or a lie?" I asked.

"The lie."

"He's fine and dandy." I replied, unfazed by what I just said, looking around her room.

"Okay tell me the truth," She said.

"The truth is that he's miserable. He almost lost the two people that he loved most in the same week, luckily Pony returned, but you acted like it didn't matter to you. You're whole relationship seemed to be worth nothing, or so he thought. His one true love left like that," I said and snapped my fingers, "barely without saying goodbye. What did you expect me to say? That he's swell and better than ever? Well sorry to disappoint you but he's not."

I took a deep breath, I hadn't meant it to come out like that, but I cane be rather arrogant at times. I've always liked Soda, and I thought Sandy left in a crappy way. If she was going to leave him, then she could have had the decency to give him an explanation for her actions.

For a second there I thought she was going to cry, and she did.

"I'm sorry Sandy, that was harsh of me!" I said and put an arm around her.

"No, you're right! It's not what you said, it's just that it was the truth!" She said and cried into my shoulder. "It did matter to me! Our relationship did matter!" She looked up at me, her blue eyes misty. "I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?" I asked.

"Afraid that…" She said, her lip quivering, "Afraid that we would end up like some of our friends parents! I didn't want that, but that's where we grew up, and that what we're used to."

"Sandy, Sandy, Sandy, not all relationships end up like that. Soda's parents loved each other and so do yours. But that shouldn't matter anyway, if you and Soda love each other then you should be together." I said. Gee, I'm beginning to see a pattern in my conversations lately…

"I know, but still, the thought scared me. I never wanted to hurt Soda, but I thought better now than later." She said.

"I believe that people fall in love for reasons, sometimes love goes bad I know, but I believe everyone has a soul mate," I said, "And I started believing that by watching you and Soda together all the time."

Sandy looked at me like she had never seen me before.

"Well, I think I'll leave you to think about that, I'll go to my room and catch up on some sleep." I said when I looked at the clock on her wall, surprised at how late is was.

"Goodnight Ash," Sandy said softly.

"Goodnight," I said. I walked out of her room with a shadow of a smile on my face, I think everything will be going my way for once.

All weekend Sandy and I went sightseeing, shopping, and went to the beach to check out the boys (we spotted quite a few hotties there!) When it came time for me to leave Sandy said, "I'm coming with you."

"What?" I asked.

"I coming home. Florida is a nice place, I agree with you, but it's not home." She said. We were in her room, she took out a bag and started packing her clothes. "I already spoke to grandma and my parents, and I told them I needed to be home."

"Well, we'll all be glad to have you home. Is there any special reason to you decision?" I asked.

"Yep. Soda."


	3. Can't Hide from Love

All characters belong to S.E. Hinton except for Ashley Mathews, she belongs to me, and I'm not making money off of this or anything like that. Thank you all for all the nice reviews that you've left me!  
  
On the bus ride home, Sandy and I passed time singing songs from the latest Marilyn Monroe movie, talking about some strange reoccurring dreams we've both had, and discussing politics. Actually, we didn't discuss politics, I was just making sure you're paying attention. Somehow I manage to let it slip that I have a crush on Ponyboy.  
  
"Oh, that is so cute!" Sandy squealed as I buried my face in my hands.  
  
"Shut up!" I snapped, my voice muffled. I was trying to hide the fact that I was blushing.  
  
"There's nothing wrong with that Ash! That is so sweet! I think you'd be cute together!" Sandy told me, but it didn't help. Hey, I'm kind of shy about that subject. "I swear I'll set you too up!"  
  
"Don't!" I groaned.  
  
"Oh come on Ash! Why not?" She asked.  
  
"Because, I only want him to ask me out if he really likes me, not because one of my friends set me up with him."  
  
"Hypocrite," Sandy muttered.  
  
"I am NOT a hypocrite!" I said, "Soda asked you out on your first date because he liked you, I never set you up!"  
  
Sandy and I spent the rest of the bus ride home arguing the fact if I was a hypocrite or not. I won the argument, although I wouldn't call it an argument because we were laughing the whole way through it and making silly remarks to support our point that had nothing to do with the subject.  
  
"Oh yeah, well I say I'm not a hypocrite because I'm wearing shoes!" I said.  
  
"Oh, okay then, you win!" Sandy cried as dramatically as she could.  
  
"That had to be one of the strangest arguments I've ever been in," I laughed.  
  
Just then we both felt the bus stop. We looked out the window and saw we were home.  
  
"Home!" Sandy sighed happily.  
  
"Is where the heart is!" I told her, finishing a phrase I had seen on a doormat.  
  
"That's the truth!" She said.  
  
Sandy and I made our ways back to my house. As usual no one was home because mom had to work and Two-bit was most likely shoplifting, getting drunk, or at the Curtis house.  
  
I called Angela and she and Sandy had a nice little reunion hug. We all figured that we'd go to the Curtis house in an hour because Soda wouldn't be home from work yet. Sandy spent that hour complaining she had nothing to wear or anything to do with her hair. Finally, she came out of my room, which she had been using as a dressing room, wearing a cute green dress and her hair curled and done up nicely. She sure looked stunning.  
  
"Well, don't you look sharp?" Angela asked.  
  
"Really?" Sandy asked.  
  
I nodded in agreement, then Sandy flipped out again.  
  
"I don't want Soda to think I've been getting along just fine without him by going to his house looking all fancy!" She screamed running back into my room and slamming the door behind her.  
  
Angela and I looked at each other strangely. We both knew that Sandy wanted to make just the right impression on Soda, but this was getting ridiculous! After modeling off about twenty different outfits for us she settled on a plain brown skirt and white blouse with her hair tied back in a ponytail.  
  
"Okay, I'm ready," Sandy said.  
  
"Finally!" Both Angela and I said, relieved.  
  
We walked to the Curtis house, several time Angela and I had to grab Sandy by her arms so she wouldn't turn and run away.  
  
Finally we made it to the door.  
  
"Alright, this is it," I said prepared to knock.  
  
"Oh, God, help me get through this," Sandy prayed. 


	4. Don't Turn Away from Love

All characters are S.E. Hinton's except Ash who is mine. Not making money yaddah yaddah yaddah  
  
Sandy broke into a sprint, leaping off the porch and flying down the street. I ran after her and eventually tackled her. Hey, at school I'm a track star what can I say?  
  
"What are you doing?" I asked Sandy, getting off her, sitting on my knees next to her.  
  
"I'm sorry," She gasped, I had knocked the air out of her, "It's my nerves, I don't know where they went."  
  
Angela bounded up to us and said, "It doesn't matter, no one's home anyway."  
  
I blinked. Why wouldn't anyone be home? Darry was probably at work, where was everyone else? At the movies maybe? I couldn't see Soda at the movies, maybe he's…  
  
"He's probably working the late shift tonight!" I said.  
  
"Come on, let's go," Angela said.  
  
Angela and I pulled Sandy to her feet and we walked to the gas station. We must have looked funny half dragging/half carrying Sandy, but she was too nervous to walk by herself.  
  
When we reached the gas station we saw that both Soda and Steve were working late. Man those too can sure attract a crowd with Steve so good with cars and Soda so attractive. We saw a huge crowd of people around them it was a wonder how they could possibly work!  
  
I looked at Sandy who appeared to be in a daze. I kicked her in the butt to knock her out of it. She glared at me, but Angela and I dragged her along anyway.  
  
"Ash, don't make me do this!" Sandy whined.  
  
"But, Sandy, I thought you wanted to!" I said.  
  
"I do, I'm just nervous, don't listen to me!" Sandy said.  
  
"Okay, come on, just put one foot in front of the other… That's a girl!" Angela instructed Sandy.  
  
Sandy then quickly turned and ran away again, but by some coincidence Soda had made his way out of the crowd and saw the back of her head.  
  
"Sandy?" Soda asked him self walking past us.  
  
"Man you're seeing things," Steve said coming after Soda and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt.  
  
"But I could've sworn that was…" Soda began to say when he looked at Steve who had a look on his face that read 'I don't think so.'  
  
Steve then turned to see Angela and me.  
  
"Hey kids, what're you here for?" Steve asked and smiled at us.  
  
"Um…milk?" I said. 


	5. Love is Blindness

All characters belong to S.E. Hinton except Ash who is mine; I'm not making money off of this story or any others…yeah… WARNING THERE IS DRINKING IN THIS PART! 

"Get back here!" I shouted at Sandy as I sprinted up to her. "What do you think you're doing walking away leaving us there like that?" I scolded her, shaking my milk jug at her.

"Why do you have a milk jug?" She asked.

"Don't change the subject!" Angela snapped.

"Look, you guys, I'm sorry, it's just that…I didn't want to see him for the first time in front of all those people, I got self-conscious." Sandy explained.

"You are getting pickier and pickier," I shook my head in disappointment. This was becoming much more complex than I thought it would be. But now it wasn't just about proving to Ponyboy that love exists, but now I was doing for Sandy and Soda. If they love each other then they should be together.

"Okay, okay, we'll go to his house tonight when he gets off of work, I promise I won't leave this time," Sandy said.

"Can we believe you?" Angela asked doubtfully.

"Yes you can, I'm ready," Sandy insisted.

"Okay then, well, let's go back to my house and get this milk in the fridge before it spoils." I said.

We walked back to my house. After putting the milk away I got out some wine I found in my mothers liquor cabinet.

"Here, we can drown our sorrows in this," I said.

"Okay, me first," Angela said, whom by far is the heaviest drinker out of the three of us, "I'm drowning my sorrows in this wine over my ex- boyfriend Bryon," Angela said and took a swig from the bottle. She then passed the bottle to Sandy.

"I'm drowning my sorrows in this wine over my ex-boyfriend Sodapop, with whom I want to oh-so badly get back together with but can't seem to find the nerve." Sandy said, took a drink of wine and passed it to me.

"I'm drowning my sorrows in this wine over Ponyboy Curtis who never was my boyfriend, and probably never will be my boyfriend," I said. I took a swig of wine, filled the bottle a bit up with water so it would look like any had mysteriously be drunken, and put it back where I found it.

"That wasn't a very nice thing to say Ash!" Sandy said to me.

"What?" I asked, oblivious to what she was talking about.

"Saying that Pony probably will never be you boyfriend," Sand told me.

"Well, Pony right now doesn't think that love does anything but cause heart ache," I said.

"That's terrible!" Sandy gasped.

"I know, I told him I'd prove him wrong." I said, "you and Soda'd make a perfect example."

"I though you were up to something you little sneak!" Sandy declared. I just smiled innocently.

"That of course isn't the only reason why I want you and Soda to get back together. I think if two people love each other they should be together," I said.

"Honestly, Ash, what is up with you and the obsession with love?" Angela asked.

"Ever since I read Romeo and Juliet I've been thinking about it a lot more," I answered and shrugged. That was only part of the reason though. The other part was that I've never been in love before, and I really wanted to know what it was like.

"My uncle's got a ranch," Sandy said, changing the subject oddly quickly.

"Really?" Angela asked.

"He got me a horse," Sandy said.

"Does it have a name?" I asked.

"Yeah, Mickey Mouse," She replied and my head jerked up suddenly.


	6. Love Brought You Back

"Mickey Mouse?" I sputtered, "Do you say Mickey Mouse? Soda's horse?" Ponyboy had told me about the horse Soda 'had' when he was younger.  
  
"I think so. I've only seen the horse once, but the horse looks exactly as Soda described him to me," Sandy replied.  
  
"Did I miss something?" Angela asked.  
  
Sandy and I then started telling Angela about Soda's horse, at least as much as we knew. He was a dark gold colored buckskin horse, who was on the ornery side, but Soda loved him, but one day was sold.  
  
"That's so…weird…how your uncle managed to get you the same horse that Soda was so crazy about when he was younger," Angela said.  
  
"I know…" Sandy said," Do you think it's a sign? As crazy as that may sound…"  
  
"I do," I said honestly, "Things don't happen like that by mistake."  
  
"Okay, good," Sandy said.  
  
None of us needed to say anything. We got our coats, it had become cool now that it was later in the day, and started walking to the Curtis house. This time Angela and I didn't have to drag Sandy with us, she came on her own.  
  
"Okay, no are you ready?" I asked before I knocked on the door.  
  
"Yes, Ash, I am," She replied and smiled nervously.  
  
I knocked on the door and…we heard a fight going on inside over who was to answer the door. Angela, Sandy, and I all looked at each other strangely, yet amused. Boys can be so juvenile sometimes.  
  
Finally someone opened the door. It was Dally.  
  
"We don't want any!" Dally shouted at us and slammed the door on our faces.  
  
I knocked on the door again, this time Steve answered it.  
  
"Sorry about that. We were…um…never mind…come in," Steve said letting us in.  
  
"Is Soda here?" Sandy asked.  
  
"Yeah, he's in the shower…Sandy?" Steve asked, surprised to see her. "I thought you were in Florida!"  
  
"I was, but I'm not anymore," Sandy said and smiled.  
  
"Soda! Sandy's here!" Steve then called towards the bathroom.  
  
Soda stuck his head out the door, glaring at Steve, "You're not very funny Steve. Just because I thought I had seen her today doesn't mean you can make fun of…me…" Soda's sentence trailed off when his eyes had drifted from Steve to Sandy. His eyes grew wide and then slammed the bathroom door. About ten seconds later he came out, wearing only jeans.  
  
"Sandy…" Soda said, his eyes were still wide, "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Ash made me come!" Sandy said pointing an accusing finger at me. I had sat down on the couch with my brother watching Mickey Mouse, to cartoon character not the horse, on TV.  
  
"I did not!" I scowled, glaring at Sandy.  
  
"Well, actually, Ash brought me home from Florida. Let's just say she knocked some sense into me," Sandy said, looking into Soda's eyes, more seriously now.  
  
Ponyboy had come into the room from his and Soda's room. He gasped when he saw Sandy.  
  
"Oh, Soda, I'm sorry, I made a mistake," Sandy said and told Soda basically what she had told me in Florida, that she was afraid of the ending up hurting each other and she thought it'd be better off sooner than later, "Are you listening to me?!"  
  
I looked up and saw that Soda had a goofy grin on his face. I stifled a giggle.  
  
"Yes, Sandy, I am," Soda nodded, grinning  
  
"Well then act like it!" She said, obviously amused.  
  
Soda didn't exactly reply. Instead he pulled her towards him and kissed her.  
  
Just then Ponyboy came up to me, grabbed my arm and nodded towards the door, keeping silent because he hadn't wanted to interrupt anything. 


	7. Ash is Cupid

Ash is mine, everyone else is S.E. Hinton's, and I'm not making money off of this, oh and by the way thanks cici!  
  
"Come on Pony, say it!" I said, playfully punching him.  
  
"Okay, you were right!" Pony admitted to me, "Love doesn't just cause broken hearts."  
  
Ponyboy and I had snuck out of his house while Sandy and Soda were…erm…making up and we decided to go for a walk. We had done about six laps around the block. We went back to his house and peaked in the window to see if it was safe to go in, but alas, it wasn't. It wasn't that either of us were uncomfortable about that kind of thing, we just thought that they should have their privacy.  
  
"Now I have to rewrite my entire essay no thanks to you!" Pony said and glared at me. I just smiled sweetly.  
  
"It'll be for the best," I said.  
  
"Yeah, your right. Thank you."  
  
"Your welcome."  
  
We walked for a bit longer silently. We rerouted out path towards the vacant lot.  
  
"How was Florida?" Ponyboy asked me, breaking the silence.  
  
"It was beautiful, all those palm trees and the ocean, and the beach. I hope I can go back again one day." I said.  
  
"You will," Ponyboy reassured me.  
  
"How do you know?" I asked him.  
  
"I'll make sure you do," Pony replied. I looked at him strangely, having absolutely no clue what he was talking about.  
  
"What's your new essay going to be about?" I asked him.  
  
"Well," He said and stopped walking. We were now alone in a vacant lot. There was a sunset on the horizon, one of the most beautiful sunsets I've ever seen. I stopped to stare at it. He looked at me strangely. "What?"  
  
"That sunset," I replied, "It's…gorgeous."  
  
Pony looked to, "I didn't know you diged sunsets."  
  
"I do. Sometimes when I'm at home I'll go out on my roof to watch them. I do that on starry nights too," I said. I didn't know why I told Ponyboy that, it just kind of came out.  
  
"Like I was saying before. My new essay will be about a girl," Pony replied my question.  
  
"A girl?" I asked. Oh no, he's going to tell me about an essay he's going to write about Cherry Valance, I should have known.  
  
"She's this girl who I've been attracted to for the longest time, but I was too afraid to tell her," Ponboy added.  
  
"You'll tell her now, thanks to me right?" I said and smiled, but inside I was sad. I really like him, but who am I compared to Cherry Valance.  
  
"Right, now I'm not so scared," Ponyboy said. The next thing he did took me totally off guard. He put his arms around me, dipped me down and kissed me. Have you ever seen Gone with the Wind? Well, it was just like that famous kiss between Rhett and Scarlet. 


	8. Heartbreak

S.E. Hinton owns all the characters except for Ash who belongs to me. Thank you everyone who has been giving such nice reviews, I really really REALLY appreciate it, honestly I didn't think anyone would like this story, apparently I was wrong. I never considered myself much of a writer, especially compared to some of the great Outsiders fan fiction here such as Slashed Tires by Zevie and A New Partner in Crime by Clarista, both are great stories and if you haven't read them then do it because I said so. Actually I like all Outsiders fan fiction, GREAT JOB TO ALL OF YOU! Jeez I'm rambling sorry…  
  
Okay, okay, okay, it wasn't EXACTLY like the Gone with the Wind kiss, but I can pretend like it was. It sure felt like it, but I guess when you really, really like somebody, anything from them feels special.  
  
Anyway, so when we broke apart from the kiss neither of us knew exactly what to say, we just kind of starred at each other awkwardly. Pony, still had his arms around my waist but he quickly let go when he noticed.  
  
"Sorry," He muttered turning away from me, "I didn't mean for that to happen like that.  
  
"It's okay," I said, almost flabbergasted. I wasn't sure what he meant by that. Did he WANT to kiss me or did it just sort of happen by accident?  
  
"Let's pretend like that didn't happen…I won't tell Two-bit if you don't tell Darry," Pony said.  
  
"Okay," I nodded in agreement. Okay now I was REALLY let down. For a second I thought he liked me, I got my hopes up just to be…broken hearted…  
  
"I have to rewrite my essay too…" I thought to myself.  
  
Pony and I walked silently back to his house. I starred at the ground. Stupid Cherry Valance…  
  
When we walked in guess what we saw…that's right…Soda and Sandy being all lovey dovey. Normally I'd think that would be sweet, but right now I just wasn't in the mood.  
  
"Two-bit," I said walking over to the sofa, "I'm going to go home now. Are you coming?"  
  
"Nah, I'm going to stick around a while longer, I'll see you later okay?" Two-bit replied patting my head. For some reason he had made a habit of patting my head. He told me he just really like my hair, but he's a strange guy so…  
  
I looked across the room and did a double take. Angela was flirting up a storm with Dally! When she saw I was ready to go home she told Dally goodbye and came with me.  
  
"That Dally is one hell of a guy," She said and smiled. I didn't even want to think about what she was talking about. "What's up Ash?"  
  
"Pony kissed me," I said miserably.  
  
"And you're sad about that because…" Angela asked, confused.  
  
"After he kissed me, he wanted to pretend like it didn't happen," I told her.  
  
"Oh, Ash, he probably just got cold feet, he'll come around, you'll see. Guys are weird like that," Angela told me.  
  
"Sure," I said. A hint of a smile came over my face remember the time I asked Pony why he thought girls are weird when I came home with him to study for our English test.  
  
Don't think about him! A voice in my head told me. Angela and I departed ways. I sighed sadly and continued to walk home. Then I suddenly got the strange feeling I was being followed… 


	9. Bad Luck for Ash

All characters are S.E. Hintons except the lovely Ashley Mathews, she is mine. I'm not making money off of this. A couple of other really good stories about the Outsider are Hardened by Seselian and What About Me? By Maverick. If you haven't read those stories yet I command you to do so NOW!  
  
Oh, God, I've never been jumped before, but I saw Johnny and Ponyboy after they had been jumped and…oh God help me!  
  
I saw the blue Covair trailing me slowly. I knew they had their eyes on me from the way they were driving. What would they do to a girl? I've never seen a girl after she'd been jumped. Did they…I shuddered thinking about it. Well, there's no use running for it…what am I going to do? The car drove faster right behind me and parked. I heard the doors opening and closing.  
  
Help.  
  
I could just picture me after words laying on the ground sobbing and screaming for Two-bit.  
  
Three Socs came up to me.  
  
"Well, look what we've got here," One said. "Hey baby, need a ride?" He asked.  
  
"No," I said. For some reason my voice was steady, but I was scarred.  
  
"No, we insist," He said.  
  
Suddenly all three of them came toward me. I started screaming as loud as I could. I have a very powerful scream. I wasn't too far away from the Curtis house…maybe they'd here me.  
  
"TWO-BIT!" I screamed.  
  
Two of them grabbed my arms. I twisted around, luckily they had underestimated my strength and I was able to run away, toward the Curtis house. I'm pretty strong for a girl.  
  
"Help!" I screamed. I heard their footsteps behind me, their laughing scarred me even more.  
  
"PONYBOY, STEVE, SOMEONE HELP!" I shrieked.  
  
I was then tackled to the ground. The wind was knocked out of me. A guy sat on my back, holding my hand behind my back.  
  
"Oh, God, please let me die," I thought to myself. 


	10. Count on the Gang

S.E. Hinton owns all of the characters except Ash who is mine. I'm not making money off of this. Oh, by the way, thanks again for the nice reviews you guys! (  
  
"I'm going to die!" I thought wildly. I tried twisting my body and kicking my legs but I couldn't get the guy off my back. When I was sure all hope was lost I felt the Soc suddenly fall off of my. I sprung up, my whole body aching and turned to see Two-bit beating the living crap out of the guy. I was relieved to see that everyone was there, even Angela who had heard me screaming while she was walking home.  
  
"You okay?" Angela asked, coming to my side with a terrified look on her face.  
  
"Fine," I said. I was actually except for my back hurting from the Soc sitting on it. The boys chased the Socs away.  
  
"Ash, are you alright? What happened?" Two-bit asked me after he was through with the Soc.  
  
"I was walking home and they followed me in their car and tried to jump me," I replied. I suddenly felt a bit faint and started to fall but Two-bit luckily caught me.  
  
"I'm gonna walk her home, I'll see you all later," Two-bit told the others.  
  
Before we left I was Ponyboy looking worried. It looked like he wanted to tell me something but he failed to do so.  
  
"I'm sorry Ash! I should have brought you home in the first place!" Two-bit said going on and on about how miserable he felt about me almost getting jumped.  
  
"Two-bit, it's not like you knew I was going to get jumped, don't worry about it," I told him.  
  
"You should have pulled…" Two-bit was about to tell me that I should have pulled my blade on them but then he remembered he took my blade from me. "I probably should give that back to you but…"  
  
"Two-bit if I was going to cut myself again I could just as easily use a kitchen knife as a blade," I reassured him.  
  
"I know," He said.  
  
When we got back to our house he went into his room and brought me back my switchblade. He had given it to me the first time after he had gone on a shoplifting-spree while I was still in Junior High. He hesitated before handing it over to me.  
  
"Be careful with this, okay?" He told me.  
  
"Don't worry, I won't do anything bad with it," I told him.  
  
"Okay, good," Two-bit said.  
  
I walked Two-bit out of the house but before he left he turned to me and said, "You promise?"  
  
"Yes Two-bit!" I cracked a smile.  
  
So Two-bit left and shoved the knife in my pocket. I wasn't going to cut myself again, ever. I went upstairs into my room, closed my door, and threw myself onto my bed and cried. 


	11. Hung up on Him

You know what characters belong to who right? Right…..  
  
Oh, lots of drinking in this part! Beware….  
  
I sat up in be and looked at the clock, it was midnight. AGH! This was such a horrible night how am I going to be able to get past this? How will I ever be able to look Pony in the eye again.  
  
I crept downstairs past my brothers. I could hear him in his room, tossing and turning in bed. I was careful not to wake him. My moms door to her room was shut tight I noticed as I slipped past her room silently.  
  
I tip toed into the kitchen, opened the liquor cabinet ever-so- silently, took a full bottle of vodka out, crept back to my room and closed the door behind me.  
  
I opened the bottle and took a swig. As I said before, I'm not usually a heavy drinker, Angela is, but right now I needed a drink. I got out a piece of paper and started to write a new love essay for tomorrow, actually today, for English. I took another swig and felt hot tears swell up in my eyes. Burning tears of anger made paths slowly down my face, silently; I took another swig of the vodka.  
  
"God, how do I get myself into these messes?" I thought to myself as I continued to write, cry, and drink at the same time, which is no easy task, believe me.  
  
I finished my essay, which turned out to be more of a poem than an essay, but it did sum up what I was feeling at that moment. I put the piece of paper in my English folder. Then I continued to drink, cry, and pace around my room. That's all I can really remember.  
  
Later I heard Two-bit knock on my door. I felt as if a baseball bat repeatedly hit me in the head. "Wake up Ash or we'll be late for school!"  
  
"Oh, what a dilemma," I said, my speech was slurred. I was sprawled out on the floor with a now empty bottle of vodka next to my. I had never been on a hang over like this before ever. Honestly I don't even like vodka, I usually only drink wine or champagne, which I very rarely have access to. Now I had I horrible taste in my mouth, a pounding headache, and I smelled like alcohol. Great…  
  
Why did we have vodka anyway? Usually we only had half-full bottles of rum and beer…oh who cares?  
  
I dragged myself off the floor and stumbled into the bathroom. I saw myself in the mirror and starred. I looked a mess! I had my old clothes on from yesterday still, circles under my eyes, my skin broke out in pimples, and my eyes didn't seem to want to focus on one certain object.  
  
That's when I felt a stinging pain in my stomach. I stumbled to the toilet and vomited.  
  
"Ash, are you okay?" Two-bit asked outside the door. He must have heard me gagging.  
  
"Fine, just dandy," I said, trying to hide the sarcasm out of my voice for his sake.  
  
I tried to clean myself up the best I could by taking a cold shower to wake me up, changing my clothes, and putting extra time into my hair and make up. My appearance improved, but I couldn't seem to get the wasted look out of my eyes.  
  
"Love, ha, whatever that means," I said to my reflection in the mirror. I starred at it a few second longer, then grabbed a soap dish, threw it at the mirror shattering it. 


	12. Flower

1 I own Ash and that's it. Everyone else is S.E. Hinton's 

Oh thanks for the reviews. And yes I know this story is starting to turn dark Zevie but, well, that's part of who Ash is, she's a dark person. Oh, and you must read the story A New Partner in Crime by Clarista because Ash is in it! Well, that's not the ONLY reason you should read it, it's very good, and yes I mentioned this story before but OH WELL! Anyway I'm rambling again…

I stormed down the hallway, yanked open my locker, grabbed my books out of it, and slammed the locker shut. All this happened just as Angela came up to me, meeting me at my locker just as she does every morning.

"Ash?" She asked, concerned.

"What?" I asked, a sour note in my voice.

"Have you been drinking?" She asked.

"How did you…?" I started to ask.

"You smell vaguely of vodka," she cut me off, "You're not still upset over Pony are you?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I replied and walked away furiously. I felt sort of bad though. I never get mad at Angela, ever. No matter what anyone ever says about her, like her ex-boyfriend Bryon who apparently thinks she's a skank, I'll always look at her as the wild dark haired girl who's been my best friend for years.

My mood was a dark one all morning, snapping at friends, getting extra-mouthy with teachers, and pushing my way through the crowds of people at school. That's when the strangest thing happened. I went back to my locker to put away my History book and go to lunch and to my surprise I found a lily taped to it. I pulled it off of my locker and starred at it for s second.

"Who in the world would give me a flower?" I asked myself. I decided it was Angela, perhaps trying to cheer me up out of my rotten mood today. I decided I'd apologize to her for it during Math, but now I had to meet my brother in the parking lot for lunch.

"What's up Ash?" Two-bit asked me and I nearly jumped out of my skin when he broke the silence. We were eating at the drive-in, Jay's, well actually he was eating, I was just picking at my food which at the moment looked unappetizing.

"Nothing," I lied. Lately, I've hated lying to my brother, I love him, but I just didn't feel right telling him the truth.

"Don't tell me that, you're totally not yourself today, what's up?" Two-bit asked.

"Well, if you really want to know, I've been in love with one of your friends and to prove to him that love exists I went to Florida to bring Sandy back to Soda to show him that love does exist, so he agreed with me that I was right about love and then he kissed me but then told me to pretend like it didn't happen, then I almost got jumped and I went home and cried and then got drunk on vodka while I re-wrote my stupid love essay, then today I snapped at Angela for no reason and I feel bad about it and I got a flower that was taped to my locker," I replied very quickly, hoping that Two-bit wouldn't catch much of what I said.

Two-bit sat there starring at me, looking kind of silly with his mouth slightly open and then finally said, "So that's 'Nothing', huh?"

I just nodded and starred at my food again.

"You got drunk on vodka?!" He then yelped.

"Yeah," I replied.

"Ash, don't drink…"

"You do it."

"I know, but you don't want to get into that kind of stuff. It could ruin your athletic ability," He said, referring to me being on the track team.

"Who the hell do you think you are lecturing me about liquor?" I then asked, glaring at him.

"Your brother," He replied, starring hard into my eyes, "And as for this Ponyboy thing, and I've known about it for a long time, don't get so worked up about it."

"How'd you…" I was about to ask him how he knew I liked Pony but decided not to, thinking it might sound dumb. I also wanted to ask him to define "getting worked up" but also chose not to.

"Well, look who's here, the fiery red-head," Angela said sarcastically as I walked into Math.

"Angel, I'm sorry about this morning, I just had a really rough night, you dig?" I said, taking my seat next to her.

Angela looked at me for a second and then grinned, "Hey, we're best friends aren't we? Of course I dig."

"Oh, I got the flower," I informed her.

"What flower?" She asked.

"The flower on my locker," I replied. She looked at me strangely. I told her about going to my locker and finding the mysterious flower taped to it.

"Wasn't me," She told me.

"Then…who?" I wondered.


	13. Talk about Love

I OWN ASH, NO ONE ELSE!  
  
I guess is the "much anticipated" continuation of my story...well I don't have much to say about it. I'm thinking/hoping the end will come soon. Oh, happy Valentines Day by the way.  
  
I hurried into English class taking my seat. I didn't look up when Ponyboy sat down next to me, I just got my new English essay out and set it on my desk. I titled it "Loveless Life" which summed it up pretty nicely. Love got me into this mess and I never want to have to go through it again.  
  
But then again there was that flower.  
  
Who gave it to me, and why?  
  
Hopefully not a secret admirer, I'd have to tell him off.  
  
I refused to even consider Ponyboy the one who gave it to me.  
  
Crap, I still like him.  
  
Shut up, I do not.  
  
Yes I do.  
  
I hate it when this happens.  
  
"Would anyone like to share a summary of their essays before you pass them in?" My English teacher asked and I almost jumped out of my skin, I don't know why, my nerves just suddenly left me.  
  
I felt Pony's eyes on me but I didn't look at him.  
  
"What about you Ash?" He asked, and smiled at me. My teacher had always liked me, I'm a pretty good student and I love English.  
  
"Alright," I said and cleared my throat, "I think that people are better off without love. All love does is cause pain. I've seen way too many fallen relationships, my father even left my mother, why should I believe that love is good. Look at what happened to Romeo and Juliet, they were in love, and now they're DEAD! Love killed them, and I think that they could have had happy lives, but love destroyed their chances of that ever happening."  
  
I stole a glance at Pony and saw a look of surprise on his face. He then raised his hand.  
  
"I'd like to share mine," Pony said.  
  
"Go right ahead Pony," the teacher said.  
  
"There's nothing without love. People need it to get by in life. At one time I felt as Ash does, but someone proved me wrong, she showed me that," Pony paused and looked at me, "She showed me that love is the greatest thing in the world. I really like this girl but I was too afraid that I'd get hurt if I told her how I felt, but I'm not afraid anymore. Thank you Ash."  
  
I stared at Pony blankly for a moment. How dare he do that? Did he think that that "thank you" would make up for what he put me through last night?  
  
I'm being unfair aren't I?  
  
I'll talk to him after class, but now I have to listen to a dozen more love speeches. 


	14. Ashey and Twobutt

You know who belongs to whom? Right? Right….  
  
I know it's been a REALLY long time since my last chapter! I'm sorry for the wait.  
  
So I said I would talk to Pony after class right? WRONG! I beat it out of there as soon as the bell rang. I sped down the hall way as fast as I could and got to my locker…AGH! ANOTHER FLOWER! Who the hell left it for me?!  
  
I started throwing a massive tantrum right there in the middle of the hallway. I stopped when I noticed people starring at me.  
  
"Whoa! Get a hold of yourself there, Ashey!" Angela laughed as she walked up to me.  
  
"Ashey? Don't EVER call me that again!" I said flatly.  
  
"What's up?" She asked.  
  
"THIS!" I growled as I held up the second flower. She starred at me.  
  
"How DARE somebody give you a flower!" Angela snarled sarcastically.  
  
"That's NOT the point! Who the heck is leaving these for me?" I asked.  
  
"I haven't a clue. Anyway, there's my ride home," Angela said and waved to some guy in the hallway, "I see you tomorrow."  
  
"Bye," I said when it hit me like the Titanic hit the iceberg, I had to ride home in them same care as Ponyboy! I then slammed my head into the locker door as I cursed out loud.  
  
"Ash?" A voice asked. I looked up and saw Two-bit starring at me, very confused, cocking his eyebrow. "You shouldn't do that, you'll loose brain cells, YOU need all the brain cells you can get!"  
  
"Oh har har Two-butt," I growled.  
  
"Hey, I do NOT have to butts!" Two-bit insisted.  
  
"Oh you mean that's your FACE? Oh I'm sorry, my mistake!" I said. I felt a smile growing on my face against my own will. Two-bit and I have VERY interesting arguments.  
  
"Now where the hell is Pony? " Two-bit asked.  
  
"PONYBOY!!!!WHERE ARE YOU?!" I shouted on top of my lungs so suddenly that Two-bit jumped.  
  
"Give me a heart attack why don't you?" Two-bit said and cursed under his breath and I laughed.  
  
"Okay, I will," I said.  
  
"Is everything okay?" Pony asked when he walked up behind us.  
  
"Yeah, we were just wondering where you were so ASHEY here decided to scream you name." Two-bit stated.  
  
"Don't call me Ashey, Two-butt!" I snarled.  
  
"Don't call me Two-butt, Ashey!" Two-bit growled.  
  
"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP SO WE CAN GO HOME?!" Ponyboy roared.  
  
Two-bit and I starred at him for a second.  
  
"He, wins," Two-bit stated.  
  
"He also has a point. Let's go," I said and smiled. Holding my flowers tightly in my hand I lead the way out of the school and to Two- bit's car, smiling for no reason at all. 


	15. In and Out of Love

Hey everyone, it's been three months since I updated this last, I hope you guys still want to read this. I think this is the part you've all been waiting for…  
  
Oh by the way, I own Ash, everyone else belongs to S.E. Hinton.  
  
"NOT AGAIN!!" I exclaimed after I reached Two-bit's car. I heard Ponyboy and Two-bit laughing at me from behind as I threw a tantrum in the middle of the parking lot. Yep, you guessed it, another flower was tape to the window of the car.  
  
"Easy there, Ashey, it could be worse," Two-bit said.  
  
"Don't call me Ashey. How exactly could this be worse?" I asked.  
  
"Well, it's not like the person is leaving you bombs or something," Two-bit replied with a goofy grin on his face.  
  
"Oh, har har Two-butt," I said rolling my eyes.  
  
"Ashey."  
  
"Two-butt."  
  
"Ashey."  
  
"Oh no, not again," Ponyboy moaned. He closed his eyes, and hung his head back letting the light of the sun touch his face. I paused for a minute and starred at him, as if there was nothing more perfect in the world than Ponyboy Curtis.  
  
I broke out of my daze when my moronic brother screamed "ASHEY!" in my ear.  
  
"WHAT?!" I said jumping about five feet in the air.  
  
"Sorry, you sort of spaced out on us there. I was just making sure you were alright." He said laughing. He's such an ass…  
  
"I'm fine," I said, glancing quickly at Ponyboy, making sure he hadn't seen me starring at him.  
  
I asked Two-bit to drop me off at home due to the fact that I didn't really want to hang around the Curtis' house. I opened the door and quickly ripped a flower off of it that was taped to the door. Jeez, who is this guy and how did he know my favorite flowers are tiger lily's? I put the flowers in a vase and then went upstairs to my room to do my homework, which I couldn't really concentrate on. Math never really interested me anyway…  
  
Just then the phone rang…  
  
"Hello?" I asked.  
  
"Hey Ash, can you come over the Curtis'?" A voice asked me. It was Steve.  
  
"Steve? Why? What's up?" I asked, surprised to hear his voice on the other end.  
  
"Let's just say there's a surprise here for you…" Steve replied. I knew something was up, I could hear it in his voice.  
  
"Well, okay…" I said and hung up the phone. 


	16. You Got me Over Him

I own Ash, everyone else belongs to S.E. Hinton. I'm going to try a new angle at this story, so bear with me, okie dokie?  
  
I walked down the street, wondering what in the world Steve had been talking about on the phone. I pondered this to myself as I turned off of the sidewalk and into the Curtis' driveway. I stepped up onto the driveway and let myself in the front door. I walked into the family room to see Soda and Steve listening to the song "You Ain't Nothin' but a Hound Dog" with popcans in their hands (pretending they were microphones), singing and dancing around the room.  
  
"Um...yep…I definitely should have knocked…" I said as I felt my eyes go wide with amusement.  
  
"Oh! Ash! We didn't hear you come in!" Soda said, jumping when he heard my voice. Steve started laughing in embarrassment and Soda stood there blushing.  
  
"So, Steve, what was the big surprise you were telling me about? Hopefully you guys weren't going to serenade me…" I said laughing.  
  
"Oh haha Ash, as if you've never done that before," Steve said.  
  
"You're right, I haven't," I said and I felt my smile broaden.  
  
"Well, no, we weren't going to serenade you," Steve said walking up to me, "But someone's here who would like to ask you something."  
  
I looked curiously at Steve for a second. I didn't realize that anyone else was in the house. I couldn't see WHY anyone would want to be in the house after the performance that I had been unfortunate enough to witness…  
  
"Ash…" I heard a voice behind me. I turned around to see Curly Shepard, Angela's brother, behind me.  
  
"Hey Curly! What's up?" I asked, surprised to see him.  
  
"Well, I've been wanting to ask you something," Curly said to me. I looked at him, interestedly.  
  
"Yeah, what?" I asked him.  
  
"Well, you know about the dance this Friday?" Curly asked.  
  
"Yeah, what about it?" I asked and thought 'Dance? What dance?'  
  
"Do you have a date yet?" He asked me.  
  
"No…" I replied. Was he going to ask me?  
  
"Well, do you want to go with me?" Curly asked.  
  
I paused for a second. Curly was a cool guy, but not my type. But, hey, what could one school dance hurt? It's about time that I started thinking about other guys besides Ponyboy, right? If Ponyboy wanted to ask me, well, I'm afraid he's missed his chance. I'm not going to sit around waiting for him forever. I have a life and I can do whatever I want with it. I have the right to date guys… oh, I'd better answer Curly…  
  
"I'd love to!" I said and smiled. I hugged Curly. He must have been the one who was leaving the flowers around for me. What a sweet, yet strange, thing of him to do! I never would have expected Curly!  
  
"Wow, that was easier than I thought!" Curly said.  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked him.  
  
"I just didn't think you'd say yes," Curly replied.  
  
I heard the front door open. I turned to see Two-bit, Johnny, and Dally walk in.  
  
"Now isn't that sweet?" My brother said when he saw me and Curly hugging. He then set his head on Dally's shoulder and pretended to cry.  
  
"What the hell?" Dally asked trying to move away from Two-bit who was now hugging him around the neck.  
  
Then Ponyboy walked in and saw Curly and me. A strange look came on his face. I'm not sure what that was about, but I don't really care anymore. 


	17. Forever Young

Same disclaimer as always, okay? These next few chapters may seem to move fast, and I apologize. Hmmm…I think Sandy is overdue for an appearance, isn't she? Oh, she's not pregnant in this story okay? This chapter is dedicated to Dusk. Dawn still loves you Dusk. Also it's dedicated to best friends everywhere. 

"So my brother finally asked you to the dance?" Angela asked me over the phone later that night.

"What do you mean 'finally'?" I asked, curiously.

"Well, he's liked you for a while now, but he thought you liked Ponyboy so he never asked you out," Angela explained.

"Really?" I asked. I had NO idea Curly liked me, "Well, he was right. I DID like Pony, but I'm over him now."

"Are you sure?" Angela asked me.

"Of course I'm sure! Why should I like him, anyway? I don't even remember what I saw in him!" I stated. I believed myself. I really believed what I was saying. I don't have any reason whatsoever to like Ponyboy. Do I like Curly? I guess so. Not a whole lot though, as a friend maybe. I just didn't see us clicking, you know. I really don't feel anything between Curly and me. Maybe he'll grow on me…who knows? I'll give him a chance though, isn't that the purpose of dating?

"So, are you going to the dance with anybody?" I asked Angela.

"A group of friends Curly and I hang out with. I'm going to see if I can find Bryon there, you know, rekindle the old flame," Angela said. I could just picture Angela in my head. I saw her laying on her back on her bed, with her arm outstretched in front of her as she examine her hand in front of her, maybe looking at her nails. Her long, black hair was hanging over the edge of the bed and down the side like a waterfall of black ink. Maybe the lights in her room were switched off and she was laying there in the dark. Angela liked the dark. Maybe it was because things didn't appear so bad in the dark, or maybe it was just because the dark matched her personality. I love the sun, and the warmth of its rays, yet Angela despises it. Maybe it was because it made things appear to be too happy. Angela and I are total opposites, like Night and Day. I remember when we were kids we had the nicknames Dawn and Dusk. Whenever we went out we would refer to each other as Dawn and Dusk so no one would know our real names. As if anybody would care what are names were anyway, right? It seemed like a good idea at the time. What kind of a name is Dusk anyway? Then again what kind of names are Ash, Sodapop, Ponyboy, and Two-bit? I guess it wasn't such a bad name after all.

"Want to go shopping after school tomorrow?" I asked Angela. It felt as if I had just gone through a time warp, and in a way I had…

"Sure! We can buy some new clothes for the dance to make ourselves look sharp right?" Angela laughed her loud, almost honking laugh, not the raspy giggle most people heard when she was at school or just hanging out, but her real laughed that she didn't hide from me because she new that there was nothing that she COULD hide from me in she wanted to.

"Yeah!" I laughed to. I was sitting at my desk with some paper and a pen in front of me. I had been writing a story before I decided to call Angela. "And we could invite Sandy."

"Yeah, and we can get in on all the dirt that's been happening between her and Soda!" Angela added.

"Sure! Sounds like a plan!" I said feeling excited now. I turned in my chair and saw myself in my mirror. I squeezed the phone between my ear and my shoulder so I could have both of my hands free to redo my ponytail, not that it really mattered how my hair looked because I wasn't going anywhere.

"Well, Dawn, I've got to go now," Angela said.

"You were just thinking about that too Dusk?" I asked, almost letting my phone slip out from between my shoulder and my ear.

"Yeah, why, were you?" Angela asked.

"Yeah!" I said and laughed.

I swear, sometimes Angela and I can read each others minds.


	18. One Wild Night

This is to Someone who wrote a review saying Ash and Pony should get together at the dance. Thanks for your suggestion, but who is Racheal? 

Same disclaimer as always. Oh, the dance is the same dance from That Was Then This is Now so you might see some similar events. I haven't read the book in about three years so I can't remember the scene exactly so bear with me.

"What do you think of this dress?" I asked Angela and Sandy. We were shopping in a clothes store in town for dresses for the dance, just like Angela and I had planned the night before. It was a light green dress, cut two inches above my knees, sleeveless, and, well showing a little cleavage, not a lot though, I'm not into that kind of style.

"Oh, Ash, you look so cute in that!" Sandy exclaimed. I twirled around in the dress.

"I agree. It looks nice with your hair and skin!" Angela said, approving.

Angela had settled on a new black dress, of course. She loves the color black. She planned on wearing her sleeveless leather vest with it. It was a cute dress though. It had spaghetti straps and was short. Typical Angela style.

Sandy was also buying a dress. Hers was a light blue dress that brought out the color of her eyes. Of course ANYTHING would look good on Sandy, she was just one of those people who would always look beautiful, kind of like Marilyn Monroe, Sandy looked like a model or a movie star.

"So, what's your plan for Bryon?" Sandy asked Angela who had told Sandy about how she was going to try to hook up with Bryon at the dance.

"I'm gonna lasso him!" Angela laughed.

"Oh dear…" I said, laughed with her.

"No, I'm just gonna play it cool, you know, flirt and all that," Angela said.

"What about you and Sodapop? Anything special planned for the dance?" I asked Sandy, who smiled when I said Soda's name.

"Dinner first, he told me. Then we're going to the dance. He has some sort of surprise cooked up for me, but I don't have any idea what it is yet," Sandy replied. "And while we're on the subject of our dates, how did this whole Curly thing happen?" Sandy asked.

I told Sandy about how Steve had called me telling me to go to the Curtis' house because there was a surprise for me, how Steve and Soda were singing in the family room (Sandy got a good laugh out of that), and finally how Curly asked me to the dance.

So Angela, Sandy, and I paid for our dresses and left the store. We walked down the road to the DX station where Steve and Soda worked. Luckily for Sandy Soda was on his break and had time to make out with her. Yea.

That Friday Angela and I went to Sandy's house, so that we could all get ready for the dance together. We helped do each other's hair and make- up and all of that kind of stuff. Usually, being a tomboy, I never really worried about that kind of stuff. Usually I just threw my hair into a ponytail, put some powder on, and presto, I was ready to go, but today, well, I wanted to look nice. It was my first dance, so I guess that was why.

Sandy curled my hair for me and pulled the side back using a silver barrette. Then she did my make-up for me. Powder, blush, eyes shadow, lip stick, EVERYTHING. It felt strange, but Angela and Sandy both reassured me that I looked good.

So, the time came when Curly was supposed to come pick me up. Of course he was fifteen minutes late, (aren't guys always late?), but that was okay too.

"Wow, you look good," Curly said, his eyebrows raised.

"Thank you," I smiled.

Curly and I linked arms and walked out to his car together. Okay, yeah, it felt weird. I've like never worn a dress in my life, and now a guy I hardly knew was escorting me to his car for a dance. Strange, yes, I know.

At the dance, well, the decorations were, well, corny to say the least. Curly and I didn't spend most of the time in the school anyway, we mostly hung out with a group of his friends out in the parking lot. They were drinking, of course, but I didn't have any beer. Yeah, I was pretty bored. I did get to see my brother though, who of course was drunk, stumbling around the parking lot with his arms around two girls. Thankfully, Soda, Sandy, Steve, and Evie were watching out for him. "He's in safe hands, Ash," Soda had reassured me with this evil little smile on his face. Sure…

"WHO THE HELL IS SHE?! THE LITTLE SKANK! I'M GONNA KICK HER ASS…" I heard Angela shriek. She was walking towards us.

"Whoa, Angela, what happened?" I asked jumping off of the hood of the car where I had been sitting and running up to her. I put my hands on her arms as she told me what she had seen.

"Bryon came here with some girl named Cathy, just to make me jealous," Angela said, her eyes burning with anger.

"Well it sure worked!" I said.

"I'm gonna get him for that," Angela snarled.

She talked some of her guy friends in to attacking Bryon when he came into the parking lot later tonight. No, I'm not sure why, that's just Angela for you.

Then, I noticed Ponyboy and his friend Mark across the parking siting on Bryon's car. Pony had been looking over at us for a few minutes with that strange look on his face, the same look he had on his face when Curly had asked me to the dance. I'm not sure what was going on with him but…

Suddenly a fight broke out in front of me between one of Angela's friends and Mark, apparently over the whole Bryon/Cathy/Angela conflict. I grabbed Angela's arm and bolted behind the car where we were safer, but still could see the action.

Angela and I watched, intrigued at first, that is, until a guy hit Mark over the head with a bottle. I then looked to see if Pony was okay, but he was nowhere in sight.

"Come on," Curly said behind me, grabbing my arm.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Let's split. Party at our place!" Curly announced.

A whole bunch of us ended up piling into Curly's car. I told Angela that it reminded me of a clown car at a circus and she laughed. We pulled out of the parking lot and drove to the Shepard's house for a party.


	19. Betterman

This chapter is written especially for Aaliyah-Charity. Thanks for everything! 

Part of this chapter won't be in Ash's point of view, for the first time in any of the stories I've written about her, so be warned.

Ash

The party at the Shepards house was insane. Music was blasting, people were getting drunk and getting into fights, people were almost having sex right in the middle of the family room and kitchen. I kept hearing crashing noises and whoops all around me. I couldn't even hear myself think.

I felt that I was lost in a see of people. I looked around me, not seeing anyone I knew. I then felt someone grab my arm from behind me. It was Curly! He was now officially my hero! He was trying to tell me something but I couldn't understand him so he just pointed up. I think he wanted to go upstairs so we could talk. I nodded my head and followed him across the room, staying close behind him as he parted a short-lived path though the mosh pit. We went upstairs into a room, I was relieved to be out of the crowd. I then noticed we were in a bedroom. Oh crap.

Two-bit and Ponynoy

"Where's Two-bit?!" Ponyboy asked Soda frantically.

"Bathroom, why?" Soda asked. Ponyboy didn't answer, he pushed past Soda and went into the bathroom.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Two-bit screamed, charging out of the bathroom, speeding across the gym with a maniacal look on his face, with Pony trailing him.

"I wonder what's with them…" Evie said curiously.

Two-bit and Pony jumped into Two-bit's car and sped out of the parking lot.

Ash

"Curly, let's think about this rationally, do we really want to do this?" I said, I kept glancing from Curly to the door.

"You're a virgin aren't you?" Curly asked, a smirk on his face, he stepped closer to me.

I don't love him. Hell, I don't even really like him.

Two-bit and Ponyboy

"Are you sure she's there?" Two-bit asked Pony as they sped down the street.

"I saw her get into the car with a whole group of guys. Curly announced that there was going to be a party at his house.

"I hope we're not to late. If he lays a hand on my baby sister…"

"He doesn't deserve her, I've been wanting to tell her that from the day he asked her to the dance," Pony said and looked at his feet.

"I guess she just didn't think that anyone else would want to go with her. Ash has this little self-esteem problem…" Two-bit began to explain.

"I did," Pony said quietly.

"What?" Two-bit asked, glancing at him.

"I wanted to ask her. Remember the flowers?" Pony asked.

"That was you?" Two-bit asked.

"Yeah," Pony replied.

"Man, she totally digs you, you should have asked her when you had the chance!" Two-bit said. He felt a smile start to form on his face, but he remained focused. Ash could be in trouble.

Two-bit parked his car in the street in front of the Shepards' house. Two-bit and Pony ran across the yard and to the front porch and knocked loudly on the front door. Tim came to the door.

"Where's Ash?" Two-bit demanded.

"Not here," Tim replied.

"Then where is she?" Two-bit snapped, trying the best he could to contain himself.

"I took her to his house, " Tim replied.

Suddenly Curly and Angela were at Tim's side.

"Yeah, she wasn't into me, so she was going to walk home. I told her, nah, Tim would give her a ride," Curly said and shrugged it off. Already he had another girl, this one a blonde, at his side, nibbling on his earlobe.

"Hey, she's like family," Tim said and laughed at Two-bit's surprised expression.

"Hey, Pony, why don't you go on and ask her out already! Jeez!" Angela smiled and winked at him and disappeared behind Tim.

"Well, I feel like an ass now!" Two-bit told Pony who laughed.

"Yeah, me too. I'm sorry I got you worked up over nothing," Pony said.

"Hey, thanks for looking out for her. You're right, Curly doesn't deserve her, you do," Two-bit said.

"I've liked her for the longest time, I just wanted to tell her the right way, you know? She's like…perfect. She a nice girl, she runs, she likes Gone With the Wind, and sunsets…" Pony said and rambled on for a few more minutes, rattling off a list of why he like Ashley. Two-bit turned and starred at Ponyboy, almost with a worried look on his face.

"Okay! I get it! A match made in heaven! Shut up already!" Two-bit snapped laughing.

"Sorry…" Pony blushed and smiled.

Ash

"…so then I decided to leave. Tim offered to drive me home." I retold my adventure that evening to Soda, Sandy, and Darry who were listening intently to my story.

"So Curly didn't have any hard feelings?" Sandy asked, a bit surprised. I was too at the time.

"No, he said I'm too much like family, being Angela's best friend and all," I said.

"Well, it's good to know you're alright," Darry said and stood up from his chair.

I got out of my seat from the kitchen table and walked into the family room to see what TV program Dally and Johnny were watching when the door opened, Two-bit came running in with his arms spread wide opened.

"Ashey! You had me all worried!" He said and picked me up in his arms and span me around.

"Hey, Two-butt, where've you been?" I asked.

"At Tim Shepards house looking for you!" Two-bit replied setting me down.

"Whoa, you know about that? How?" I asked.

"Well it all started when I was drunk in the bathroom at school, when Ponyboy runs in and tells me he saw you leave with Curly Shepards fan club to a party at his house, and, well, I know what happens at his house during parties." Two-bit explained.

"Oh, Pony, I didn't see you there!" I said looking behind my brother.

"Can I talk to you?" He asked me.

I nodded and we went outside. Talk about déjà vu.


	20. Remember Yesterday

Okay, this chapter is really, really short! But, don't worry, the next one will be longer! 

"What is it, Pony?" I asked as we stepped out onto the porch. Pony looked at me for a second then looked past me, looking

sort of annoyed. I turned to see several faces in the window, watching us.

"Um, come on, let's walk," Pony suggested. We walked in silence for a small amount of time towards the park. "Ash, I had

given you the flowers," Pony told me, "I had wanted to ask you to the dance but Curly did first."

"Oh," I said, surprised. I knew that was something that Curly wouldn't do!

"Remember that night when we were walking and talking, and I..." Pony said after a brief moment of silence, "...Kissed you?"

"Well, it didn't happen THAT long ago, so yes I do seem to vaguely remember it," I said bitterly.

"Well, would you want to do it again?" Pony asked me. Suddenly I felt nothing but a wave of rage.

"What you mean share and intimate moment with you and then have you tell me to pretend like it never happened? NO! Why

would I?!" I snapped.

"No, Ash, that's not what I meant!" Pony said quickly. "See I had been wanting to kiss you for so long, and I had been

wanting to ask you out, but I didn't want to do it like that, I didn't mean it the way I said it!" Pony explained frantically.

I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him, "Well sorry, but that how I took it." I started to walk away when he

grabbed my arm. I looked up at him and said "Let go of my arm Pony."

"But Ash, please just listen to me.will you go out with me?"

I stood there and thought for a moment, "No."


	21. Underneath it All

I'm back, so is Ash. 

"ASHLEY NICOLE MATHEWS!" I heard someone scream at me. I was at my locker getting ready to go to my next class

and I turned to see Sandy coming towards me. "Care to explain?" She asked, crossing her arms when she reached me.

"Explain what?" I asked and she rolled her eyes. I knew what she was talking about of course.

"Why'd you say no to Pony?" She demanded and I sighed. Doesn't ANYONE understand?

"Because, I didn't want to feel horrible about myself again. If he and I dated he'd just say

'Yeah, okay, you're my girlfriend but don't tell anyone!'" I snapped and Sandy glared at me.

"What the point anyway? I've come to realize there's no such thing as love."

"What?" Sandy asked, her facial expression went from anger, to shock, to disappointment within ten seconds, "wait, hold on I

lost track. Ashley Mathews, the girl who dragged me from Florida to Oklahoma to reunite me with my then ex-boyfriend just

because she was so sure of herself that love exists and is the most important thing in the world, is trying to tell me now that

love doesn't exist?"

"I was stupid, okay?! I just...I just so badly wanted to believe." I couldn't be sure how to explain myself.

"Ash, Soda and I are getting married," Sandy told me and I drew to attention.

"What?" I gasped and she smiled her perfect smile at me.

"Soda asked me to marry him. We're not getting married right away, not until he gets a better job and I graduate high school,

but we're still engaged. Doesn't that tell you something?"

Sandy asked me and I thought for a moment.

"It tells me." I said and thought again, "that even though you and Soda broke up and it looked like you two would never see

each other again.despite EVERYTHING.overcoming all obstacles.love still conquers all."

"Now THAT'S the Ash I know!" Sandy smiled and gave me a hug. I felt something change inside me...like a knot loosen

inside my stomach.or a weight taken off my chest. I felt free of something.

"Love conquers all!" I repeated, "there's nothing without love! Oh crap! I REALLY messed up!" I smacked my own forehead

feeling like a total idiot. Okay so I said no to the guy of my dreams when he asked me out. I know why I did it, but was it a

good enough reason? NO! So what am I going to do about it? I have no idea.I'll think of something.

"Thanks Sandy," I said and Sandy smiled.

"Hey, I hated seeing you sad," Sandy hugged me, "any way, if you get married to Pony one day and I get married to Soda

we'll me sisters in law!"

"That's true!" I laughed, suddenly I got an idea. "Come with me to my brothers locker, I need to borrow something from him."


	22. Nothing Without Love

Thanks for all the great reviews guys. How the hell did this story get so friggin long anyway? It was supposed to end like

fifteen chapters or so ago, no joke. Oh well, let's finish this sucker.

"Thanks for your help, Two-bit," I told my brother as we walked away from the track field together during our lunch break. I

honestly was surprised we actually got away with it, I was certain we would get caught it the act.

"No problem Ashey Washey." Two-butt snicker throwing his arm around my shoulders.

"Oh, now you're REALLY gonna get it!" I declared as I elbowed him in the side. He laughed and ran away with me chasing

him.

God today was getting better and better by the minute. Oh boy is Pony in for a surprise! I can't wait until the track meet

tonight. I just hope he isn't too mad at me. That's just how love goes, isn't it. He tried to tell me he likes me and I bite his head

off, now I'm trying to let him know I still like him and he might bite my head off.I hope he doesn't because I kind of like where

it is right now thank you very much. After tackling my brother in front of the doors to our school I decided to look for friends

and I found Johnny. This could be used to my advantage.

"Hi Johnny!" I said walking up to him. He smiled at me shyly.

"Hi Ash," He replied.

"Look, I know you're Pony's best friend and all and I was wondering if he was really mad at me, do you know?" I asked.

"He was upset, but not mad at you. I don't think he could ever be mad at you," Johnny replied and I could feel myself blush.

"Well, can you keep a secret?" I asked and Johnny nodded and I told him my little plan for Pony. "That's so cool! Yeah I

think he'll forgive you!" Johnny exclaimed.

Mwahahaha.it's about time things started going my way seeing as that I am the master of the universe... um... never mind.

Time for English class! Also time to see Pony! During English all we were really doing was writing essays on what we want to

be when we grow up.kind of second gradish, but what the heck. More importantly Pony wouldn't even look at me during

class.well I'll fix THAT by tonight. hahaha! I was a little bit more disappointed when Pony wouldn't even let Two-bit and me

drive him home... now I'm getting nervous.but I can't take back what I did... and there's no way to cover it up either.... I'm

either in for a pleasant reconciliation or a horrible embarassment.

That Evening.

I got to the field, my heart was pounding and my stomach was in knots. Everyone on the track me turned to look at me and

shouted "Go Ash!" and things like that. I smiled shyly and looked for Pony. There he was starring at the field. Spray painted

on the field was "I'm sorry Pony, please forgive me! I do want to go out with you!-Ash" Pony looked over at me, ran up to

me and hugged me.

"What? You couldn't tell me yourself?" Pony asked and I smiled.

"Hey, I needed to do something special." I said.

Pony looked down at me and laughed. He then kissed me and the whole team applauded us. Life is good.and there is

NOTHING without love!

The End.


End file.
